Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

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But there’s more to sun protection than just slip, slop, slap – we also need to slide on a pair of sunglasses. In 2007, the well-known Cancer Council slogan was updated to Slip, Slop, Slap, Seek, Slide to reflect the importance of seeking shade and sliding on wraparound sunnies. When you first fall in love, sex can also help increase closeness to your partner. Great sexual chemistry can make you feel good about sex and increase your desire to keep having it. Wanting to explore each other’s sexual interests usually doesn’t hurt, either. You idealize them

Langeslag SJ, van Strien JW. Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions, Strategies, and Feasibility. PLoS One. 2016;11(8):e0161087. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0161087 Sentence-Summary: Loving What Is gives you four simple questions to turn negative thoughts around, change how you react to the events and people that stress you and thus end your own suffering to love reality as it is. Write this thought down and then go through the questions. Is Peter really unreliable? Can you tell from experience? Has this happened before? Are you 100% certain he’s unreliable? What’s your reaction to it? Do you get defensive? Angry? Helpless? What if you didn’t think this thought? What would the world look like? Out of nowhere, like a cool breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice, comes Byron Katie and “The Work.” Isn’t it marvelous to discover that you’re the one you’ve been waiting for? That you are your own freedom?”When you first fall in love, you might not only idealize your partner but also want to present an idealized version of yourself. If you are buying sunglasses, you need to make sure that they say ‘100% UV protection’ on them, because normal plastic lenses will [only] get you to 90%. They have to be dipped into a UV bath to bring you the rest of the way – you’ve got to make sure that that process has been done.” The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want.” I don't think Byron Katie is 100% right. I found her attitude a little arrogant at times, and condescending. But the basic ideas can be useful and provide a way to logically see how you can better a problem by controlling your part in it. Likewise, it asks you to accept the past as it was, because that's the only way it can be -- you can't change it, only the way you relive it in your mind. In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a ten-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now in Loving What Is you can discover the same freedom through The Work.

Heard great things and watched a film clip of Byron Katie on Oprah. What she said made some sense, so I bought the book.But as I got further into the book, and really started to grasp exactly what she was trying to say, and trying to get people to implement in their lives.. The simplicity of her steps, which breed deep insight in our own perceptions, and preconcieved notions.. that we may not necessarily be consciously aware of.. I found this book immensely helpful.

Rubin Z. Lovers and Other Strangers: The Development of Intimacy in Encounters and Relationships: Experimental studies of self-disclosure between strangers at bus stops and in airport departure lounges can provide clues about the development of intimate relationships. American Scientist. 1974;62(2):182-190.

Embracing the Truth

In 2003, Byron Katie first introduced the world to The Work with the publication of Loving What Is. Nearly twenty years later, Loving What Is continues to inspire people all over the world to do The Work; to listen to the answers they find inside themselves; and to open their minds to profound, spacious, and life-transforming insights. The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. Passionate love: This type of love is marked by intense feelings of longing and attraction; it often involves an idealization of the other person and a need to maintain constant physical closeness. Until you see everything in the world as a friend,” Katie says — this includes fatal diagnoses as well as poor drivers in traffic — “your work is not done.” Byron Katie’s“The Work” approach helps us pull off thisshift in perspective by asking and answering four very simple questions for any stressful thought: You are your only hope, because we're not changing until you do. Our job is to keep coming at you, as hard as we can, with everything that angers, upsets, or repulses you, until you understand. We love you that much, whether we're aware of it or not. The whole world is about you.”

Communicate. Everyone's needs are different. The best way to ensure that your needs and your loved one's needs are met is to talk about them. Helping another person feel loved involves communicating that love to them through words and deeds.Some ways to do this include showing that you care, making them feel special, telling them they are loved, and doing things for them.Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You’ll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work’s power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible. It’s normal to focus on someone’s best side when in love. But it’s also important to watch for red flags or relationship incompatibilities. I’ve summarized those Big Ideas in a video review that you can watch here: https://youtu.be/yRF4zypaavo?feature=... Even after spending all day with your partner, you still feel lonesome when they leave. You wonder what they’re doing and whether they’re thinking about you. Maybe you already have plans to meet the next day, but you still wonder how you’ll manage until you see them again. If you feel the urge to do something that would completely uproot or significantly change your life, take some time and think it through.