My Lesbian Wife Is Strapped Airtight: At The Beach

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We all formed one big circle, and the staffers got the ball rolling. First things first: How had we all heard about Olivia? A couple days later — after getting my serious lesbian conversations out of the way — I was about 14 rum punches deep and drunk-dancing on a catamaran. I tried to tell myself that lesbian bed death isn’t real, all the while heartily blaming myself for our increasingly diminished sex life. I was the one who never really felt like initiating, or at least not with anywhere near the regularity we’d had as a hormone-crazed new couple. I assumed, at best, that all passions cool somewhat over the years; at worst, I thought something might be wrong with me. Much of France's LGBTQ beach scene is centered around Nice and the adjacent French Riviera, but this colorful port city is where you'll find the country's oldest gay beach, Mont Rose. Adjacent to the scenic fishing village of La Madrague and accessible via a 45-minute bus ride south from central Marseille, this picturesque expanse of craggy ledges draws a predominantly gay male crowd, and nude sunbathing is popular.

So I’m surprised to say I might actually travel with Olivia again, skeptical as I remain of cruise ethics in general. And that’s because of all the things that happened in the eight days I spent aboard the Summit — things I wasn’t remotely expecting.When I kissed Lynette goodbye at our appropriately miserable reentry to the real world — Pennsylvania Station in Manhattan — I still wasn’t exactly sure what the hell I was supposed to do next.

Fringed with palapa-roofed ceviche restaurants, Zipolite's main beach stretches along the crashing surf for another mile or so and is every bit as gorgeous. Several airlines make the 75-minute flight from Mexico City to Puerto Escondido and Huatulco, which are each about a 90-minute drive from Zipolite. I would move into a house with some friends in Brooklyn, where a room had just magically opened up. There’d be a dog, and a yard. It would feel like a sign. (I’d start getting really into signs.) I took care of boys — like my partner, like the person I’d dated before them, even like my cis college boyfriend — because I loved them, and that’s what you do for the people you love. I think there was also a part of me that liked tempering my fastidious long-term planning, my conventionalism, my seriousness with their wild spirits, their rejection of every social expectation. Queer bois, with their embrace of pleasure above most all else, in their refusal to adhere to the rules of heteropatriarchal capitalism — why grow up if it means becoming a cog in the machine? — seemed to embody a radical queer ethos I admired, and maybe felt the slightest bit jealous of. I would worry about which of the many friends my ex-partner and I shared I would lose in the dyke divorce. I’d have to come to terms with the fact that I can’t control how other people feel, can’t hold out for universal approval. Though I would also seek constant reassurance from my closest friends that I wasn’t a bad person for putting myself first, for a change; that, even after blowing up my life, they’d keep on loving me.I would move out of an apartment that I adored, that I’d almost single-handedly furnished, that I thought I’d live in for years to come. I would hug my landlady, crying again because she was crying for me. Many queer visitors come to experience the inclusive vibes and surreal beauty of Playa del Amor, a clothing-optional, horseshoe-shaped sandy cove nestled between cliffs and massive boulders. All day long, and especially at sunset, this compact beach on the eastern edge of town offers a delightful mix of socializing and seclusion, while an unpretentious beach bar dispenses micheladas and fresh coconuts. Part of the reason why is no doubt what anti-trans lesbians (unreasonably) fear: More and more young people are realizing that they identify as a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth — and more and more young people are realizing they’re attracted to people of two or more genders. But even though there are plenty of trans and nonbinary lesbians, and plenty of cis lesbians (like me) who don’t think that “lesbian” should be defined exclusively as “cis woman who’s only attracted to cis women,” our identity still hasn’t been able to shake the sexist, classist, and anti-gay stereotypes of lesbians as uncosmopolitan boomer TERFs, sporting Tevas and cargo pants covered in cat hair. Eventually, once we’d reboarded the boat after our snorkeling, I did start talking with a few of the women I met at the Gen O mixer earlier that week, and it only took a couple of drinks for us to become the best of friends.

I would sleep in Alia’s bed that night and accidentally pat her butt in my sleep, my mind clearly deluding my body into believing I was still on the cruise with Lynette. Alia would very nicely not be weird about it. Looking for refreshments? From Beach 19, you can walk just 10 to 15 minutes south to the breezy beach bars of Fonte da Telha. I was captivated by what Eileen Myles told me at the time: “I know how to fight for what I want, to say no, when to wait. I’ve been in time for 65 years. I have a lot to share. That supposedly should only be in my teaching life — that’s not the case. It’s amazing on both sides to be able to share the world from different angles. It’s lively. It’s hot.” It’s all of the little things about a holiday that make it just…perfect. Finding your new favourite drink at the beach bar, making friends with another set of parents by the pool, evenings with your mates that you’ll be laughing about forever. But there’s so much more to a holiday than the memories. We hop on a plane to head somewhere hot, where we can feel relaxed, happy and safe. And a holiday isn’t a holiday without these things.Bohemians, yoga enthusiasts, surfers and free spirits have been vacationing here and in neighboring Mazunte for years, and although it's far less touristy and pricey than Puerto Vallarta or Tulum, this former fishing village offers a growing number of stylish boutique hotels such as El Alquimista and Hotel Noga. Not that we completely approve, but there might be a time that you fancy somewhere…cold. Honestly, I got shivers just thinking about it. But if you do want a switch-up from your regular sunny getaway, Iceland should be your go-to. Cool temperatures and cool vibes go hand in hand here, plus it scores a brilliant 90 out of 100 on the Equaldex scale. With glaciers, natural spas, waterfalls, whales and the possibility of seeing the northern lights, a couple’s holiday to Iceland is an adventure, to say the least! Greece I would sob in a car to uptown Manhattan, where my friend Alia would take me in her arms and tell me it was all going to be OK.