Go the Way Your Blood Beats

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Finance is provided by PayPal Credit (a trading name of PayPal UK Ltd, Whittaker House, Whittaker Avenue, Richmond-Upon-Thames, Surrey, United Kingdom, TW9 1EH). And then Emmett is chosen for a first-of-its-kind surgery in America which he hopes will 'cure' him, enable him to walk unaided.

While Emmett eventually found his own chosen family, he still sees ableism everywhere in society – and says it’s rampant within the LGBTQ+ community too. I felt sure – misguidedly, as it turns out – that because of the rainbow flag and because of the rhetoric about inclusivity that I would find a place.The Hogarth Press where I’m working, is in the heart of the literary world, with authors coming in all the time. Mit klaren, manchmal harten und manchmal zarten, Worten, nimmt er uns mit auf eine Reise, die sein Leben ist und die er nicht einfach beenden konnte, um in ein anderes (gewünschtes) Leben zurückzukehren. The more we can amplify positive stories and the more we can amplify diverse narratives – I think that’s all to the good. In his early adolescence, these feelings were compounded by the discovery that he was gay, and by becoming a media sensation for ground-breaking gait surgery in the US. He asks whether De Monterey has “busted his leg” or if he’s [HIV] “positive”; when the author responds that he has cerebral palsy, the guy’s reaction is swift and unpleasant: “You should be at home.

The book is raw and intimate, showing his childhood experiences of, in Emmett’s own words, his “double difference”. He talks about internalising this toxic, ableist narrative, and the rejection he faced for being both disabled and gay. Even though he was still just a child, he also had to come to terms with the fact that many in the disabled community were not best pleased by his documentary and media coverage. Debbie Gray, managing director of Genesius Pictures, said: “This beautiful, intensely powerful and heart-breaking memoir, ‘Go the Way Your Blood Beats’ is a story about being seen. The title of this engaging memoir exploring Emmett de Monterey’s life growing up gay and disabled (he has cerebral palsy) in 1980s London comes from James Baldwin: “You have to go the way your blood beats.

This week Aidy looks at those members of our community living with tourettes and reflects on his own experiences the condition. Overall this is a book written with a deep understanding of what it is to be human and to deal with limitations (especially other peoples) with grace. Along the way, he will speak to a variety of notable people who have looked their own demons face on to offer a glimpse into the reality of living with this condition. Good-humoured, unpretentious and a bit eccentric, it's more like having a well-read friend than a subscription to a literary review. The author’s story runs more or less in parallel to my own, Emmett being just a few years younger than me.

There is also a charming sense of intimacy in the way de Monterey describes place and characters - particularly his loving-rendered family. It was a difficult realisation – but what made it harder to accept was the prevailing logic of the 1980s, that there was something “wrong” with disabled people. I chose to internalise the tabloid narrative that I was going to be a miracle, so when I came back to England and I was recovering and the miracle didn’t happen I had to go through a grieving process even though it was nobody’s fault – because I hadn’t been misled.

It was a bit peculiar to be in a situation where I didn’t feel like I had any agency or control, and I was also being projected onto quite heavily as symbolic of this miracle. We have many mutual friends but this was our first proper chat and, as you'll hear, it's exactly that - a searingly honest get-to-you-know-you conversation that just so happened to be committed to audio. Whether it's the ethics behind a sustainable brand, generational shifts in work ethic or how to consume mindfully, she has a well-formed opinion on everything. And then Emmett is chosen for a first-of-its-kind surgery in America which he hopes will ‘cure’ him, enable him to walk unaided. Wider creative team: Mary Forrest, Clare Wright, Gemma Sherlock, Helen Gamble-Shields, Kathleen Javalla, Caroline MacPake, Evangelia Vasiliadou.