Ask Me His Name: Learning to live and laugh again after the loss of my baby

Product Information

After the death of her son, Teddy, at three days old, Elle started writing to navigate her new life and as a way to feel purpose again. I am a health visitor and as a team we are looking at ways we can support our bereaved parents after a loss. And I think it was about six months later, just after Teddy’s first birthday, I had an Instagram message from a girl saying she was a literary agent. Briefly talking about her own childhood, meeting Nico (her husband), getting married, getting Borris and then starting to try for a baby.

The strange thing about our fear of talking about losing a baby is that though one in four women will lose a baby at some point, most pregnant women are more prepared for heartburn, swollen ankles, and morning sickness, but there’s nothing to prepare you for the chance of the worst happening.

Her Feathering The Empty Nest blog is a way of finding light in darkness, positivity in times of desperation and, hopefully, making a few people laugh along the way. So maybe I go at it from a selfish perspective now, and think ‘Why should I have to swallow my words and my opinions so you don’t feel awkward?

I knew a little of Elle’s story and how she lost her son, Teddy at just 3 days old but didn’t know the full circumstances around his birth and his loss. Elle Wright had an admittedly easy pregnancy - her scans went well, she and her baby were healthy throughout, and in May 2016, she and her husband welcomed their son, Teddy, into the world. I think obviously there has to be a change in the element of support; but the biggest change has to come from everyone else so they’re better equipped to talk about it, and support the people it happens to. It may have been her no nonsense approach to writing the book or maybe her ability to make me cry at some points and smile at others either way i fell in love.Elle was the 2018 recipient of the Mum's Voice Award from Tommy's, the baby charity, which celebrates one mum who has spoken out about her own pregnancy experience and given hope to others. The human race never ceases to surprise me: The person who you think wouldn’t know what to say, suddenly becomes an absolute hero of mine, because they say all the right things. I literally went from room to room just doing that, and taking photos of it and putting it on Instagram, not with the intention of starting a blog at all, just because I needed it for my own sanity.

This book not only validates the grief and the avalanche of emotions that bereaved parents face, but it's also a handy guide for anyone who's brave enough to dive into the details of this journey. Not many people know how the utter devastation that is caused by the death of a baby, but how Elle describes it is so breathtaking.But your views on fertility treatment when you first started talking about it where really disrespectful and harsh. Because like everything, I was already out of my depth, so didn’t really know what to say other than No.