How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

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Through my own experience, I’ve seen society place constant judgement on mothers—sometimes even before pregnancy! With the right tools, you can find more ease on a day-to-day basis and even make this transition a fun one.

And maybe to take a big timeout the next time I want to run over his pipe collection with my jog stroller. He doesn’t have it, and if you don’t let him learn, you’re engaging in “maternal gatekeeping,” or keeping him from participating in the nitty-gritty of childcare.I have nothing but empathy and understanding for the strength it takes to parent; whether this be planning for a child, the process of waiting for the child to arrive, or having children in your life. This is particularly true when you consider the aforementioned gender roles and their sneaky nature. How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids tackles the last taboo subject of parenthood: the startling, white-hot fury that new (and not-so-new) mothers often have for their mates. If you are thinking of strangling your husband with that dirty diaper in your hands, you are not alone. Since I got married, my “love language” has become the love language of picking your shit up off the floor—because nothing kills romance or libido faster than cleaning up after someone like a 1950's housewife.

Of course, I still get angry at my husband — but with effort on both of our parts, he’s turned out to be the ally I didn’t know I had. He watches the Braves lose five games in a row, with only a few comments from me (“This is how you relax? During the early years of motherhood, I became especially grateful that I had an “inside voice” that only I had access to. While it’s perfectly normal to feel anger from time to time (you’re human after all), long-standing resentment and steady dissatisfaction in your relationship has serious costs. I stood up, furious, speechless: My teeth meeting like magnets, the pressure radiating along my jaw.That’s really not a lot of time—and if you, as Dunn did, ask your husband to take some of the evening routine off your plate by putting the kids to bed a tad early, it won’t cut into your precious, precious, sleep time. I would like to gratefully acknowledge that land on which I live and practice is within the traditional territories W̱SÁNEĆ (Pauquachin, Tsartlip, Tsawout, Tseycum) peoples. Usually, the way through this is to find more support, balance, fairness, and validation within your relationship. This includes celebrating the joys and small wins and also bringing mindfulness and compassion to everyday challenges like out-of-control anxiety and postpartum depression that drags down your spirit.